36 Weeks

Tomorrow marks 36 weeks for baby boy #2 (to be named Milo Emmett) (I still need to figure out how my Grandpa spelled Emmett - he always emphasized the 2 T's but that's the only thing I'm sure of).  36 weeks means that 5 days from now was when Rory made his early appearance.

To be honest, while I'm incredibly grateful for the opportunity and blessing that pregnancy is...it kind of sucks.  My mom said she loved being pregnant because she loved the attention (I just love her!) but I've yet to find many things about it that I love.  And while physically it is definitely insanely uncomfortable (I'd really like Joe to stuff an over-inflated basketball into his shirt for a month...then I think he'd understand like 5% of what we deal with) I think the mental exertion in the home stretch is worse than the physical part by far.

When I was pregnant with Rory I had contractions starting at 30 weeks.  I've heard too many opinions about what that means...but it freaked us out for sure.  Then, Rory's early arrival didn't do much to settle the uncertainties about whether the contractions were significant or not.  Of course, I've now had consistent contractions for about 7 weeks...and this time around I only have more opinions to sort through.  My conclusion is that we really don't know anything about anything when it comes to the actual birth.  With Rory everyone over emphasized that first babies come late.  Then, ours came early.  So this time, I'm probably expecting him to come early and I'm worried he'll come late.  It's really enough to make you lose your mind.  So I'm trying really hard to Let Go.  I'm really bad at it.

The change that is about to occur in our life seems much scarier the second time around - probably because the first time around we had no idea what we were getting into...now I know too much.  Add a more stressful job for Joe, me running a business (solo), and an opinionated 2 year old to the mix and I think it's fair to say we're terrified.  Excited for sure, but now it's like we're juggling knives instead of soft training balls.

I remind myself that thousands of people have done this before me...so we too will prevail.  But parenting a toddler has proven to be much more exhausting than I ever imagined...and we have him outnumbered at the moment!

So...regardless what I do know is that sometime between tonight and early May we will have the pleasure of meeting this new little guy.  Truly, Rory's birth-day was one of the best days of my life.  I cannot wait to meet Mr. Milo.

Rory has become quite excited as well.  Of course he likely has no idea that his world is about to flip upside down, spin 3 times, and then spin the other direction...but at least he's excited about it!  In a very loud and energetic voice he's been saying "Milo big NOW".  Not only is this progress for him calling the baby "Baby George" but I think he's ready to meet this baby we've been talking about for months now.  He is excited that the crib in his room is Baby Milo's (though tonight he informed us Baby Milo would sleep in Rory's bed) and he's excited that the new carseat in the car is for Baby Milo.  I'm already feeling mom-guilt for the attention I will be giving Milo that for now is all Rory's.  I'm confident having a sibling will outweigh this...but it does make me feel a bit sad.

Well, there's my deep thoughts for now.  It will be awesome if I get into the habit of writing on here once Milo does arrive as my social media outlets have become completely overwhelming and encompassed with TinySuperheroes.  We'll see.